Ask (and Dare) Futurama Bots
by Big Candy Mama
Summary: No explicit or sexual dares. Other than that, this is is kinda self explanatory but, basically you can ask any robot you want a question or dare them to do whatever you want to see them do.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi, just want you to know that this is my first fic (well more like a questionnaire than fanfic) that I am posting to this site. Please leave questions in the reviews or PM me and I will answer them. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Futurama, all characters belong to Matt Groening.

It was a cold and miserable afternoon. Every robot in the chamber like room was sleeping peacefully because they were all knockedunconscious and tossed into the small room.

Suddenly one of the robots began to stir. He was a tall thin robot with a tombstone shaped body and his eyes were shaped similar to a burglar's mask. He opened his eyes, sat up, pulled a knife out of his chest compartment, turned to the unconscious 'devil like' robot beside him, and stabbed him in the arm.

The other manbot jumped awake and let out a rather feminine shriek. He looked at the robot sitting beside him. "Wake up! Now I want you to tell me where we are and if you don't, I'm gonna stab you in more places than one!" The insane robot yelled. "Roberto just because I'm the Robot Devil doesn't mean I know everything." Said the Robot Devil. Roberto stabbed him again and said "That wasn't the question now was it? The question was-" he was stabbing him repeatedly in the arm "where are we…" The Robot Devil pulled his arm away and shouted "That's what I'd like to know!" Roberto stopped stabbing. "Well somebody here has to know and I'm going to find out!" He then yell- no screamed at the top of his lungs "Wake up!"

At that moment every robot with the exception of Roberto and the Robot Devil, jolted awake.

"Alright, now I want one of you to tell me where we are, and if I don't get an answer within five minutes, I'll kill you all!" Roberto said. The other robots looked confused since obviously no one else knew where they were. Roberto then said "So nobody knows. Well then looks like I'll have to-" He was then interrupted by a small fourteen year old girl walking into the room and saying "Good. You're awake. Now we can get started."

The robots glared at her. "So you're the one who put us here! Tell us where we are or I'll kill you, whoever you are!" Roberto raised his knife, preparing to stab her. "You're at my house in the basement. I wanted to do a little ask fanfic with Futurama robots in it, so I tried to get you all here together by inviting you to a wild house party, but you guys wouldn't come. So I tracked you all down, knocked you all out, and brought you here. By the way, my name is A.G.." She explained. A bronze robot with clamps for hands then said "So you kidnapped is just for a stupid fanfic? That's fucking stupid." A silver robot with an antenna on his head said " Yeah, if you wanted to have your stupid questions answered, why didn't you just ask?" A.G. replied "Because that's the point of this fanfic. To get all my, and others' stupid questions answered."

The Robot Devil said "Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm leaving! I have to run Robot Hell." He proceeded to walk out the door until he felt a painful shock all over and let out a high pitched yelp. "Oh yeah, if you try to leave I put a force field around the door so it will painfully shock you." A.G. said. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" The Robot Devil asked. "I just wanted to see someone try to walk out the door and get hurt." A.G. said.

A.G. then said "Well let's get started. Hi my name is A.G. and I'm doing an ask fanfic with Futurama robots. All the robots here will introduce themselves now so sit back and shut up and listen to them introduce themselves. We'll start with Bender." She pointed the camera at the silver robot that was now sitting on her couch smoking a cigar. "Bender say hi." Bender in response flipped off the camera. "...Nice... Anyway Roberto you're next." Roberto walked up to the camera and held out his knife saying "This is a message for all you rich people showing off your fancy technology and your expensive crap online, you see this knife, you see it? This is what I'm gonna do to ya if you don't stop showin' off!" He prepared to stab the camera, but A.G. was able to pull him away from the camera before he could stab it. "Okay then, I promise he won't do anything like that. Next we have Calculon." A yellow robot that kind of looks like a snail got in front of the camera and said "Hello, I'm Calculon, and I will be performing a scene called-" Suddenly someone's pitchfork hit his head and the Robot Devil yelled "No! No! If you want to talk for a long period of time, GO IN THE OTHER ROOM!" and threw Calculon into a room nearby and slammed the door shut. "I had to listen to him talk for a full year straight! Don't look at me like that." The Robot Devil said. "Okay then, well since you've already shown up on camera, introduce yourself." A.G. said. The Robot Devil walked over to the camera and said "Hello, I'm the Robot Devil, you can also call me Robosatan, Beelzebot, or Lucifer. If you want to make a deal with me, call me-" A.G. interrupted him and said "You can look his number up yourself. I'm Christian so I'm not typing that number. Next we have the Robot Mafia and Fanny. Boys and Fanny come and introduce yourselves." A small fat robot with a stereotypical mobster accent said "Hello, I am the Donbot head of the Robot Mafia, and this is my wife, Fanny" Fanny, a curvy purple fembot with a pink fan on her butt said "Hi I'm Fanny." The skinny bronze robot from before stepped in front of the camera and began "Hi my name is Clamps-" A large grey robot standing behind him jokingly said " Really? I thought it was Franci-" Clamps yelled "Call me Clamps! Not Francis. You call me Francis I'll cut off your di-" "Hey! Do not threaten to cut off people's genitals this isn't the type of ask for that!" A.G. exclaimed. "Hey I'm Joey Mousepad, but you can call me Joey if you're too lazy to say my full name." The Robot Mafia sat down on the couch nearby, trying to figure out a way out." And last but not least Tinny Tim" a small disabled robot child waved and said "Hello, I'm Tinny Tim. I'm homeless and if any of you would be kind enough to help me out, I would appreciate it very much."

"Leave a review or PM me with your questions." Suddenly, A.G. had an idea. "In addition to that, can also dare the characters to do whatever you want them to do." Tinny Tim then asked "Wait I thought you said we just had to answer questions?" A.G. said "Yeah. But I just got that idea so why not?"

A.G. then said "Well, you guys are going to be here for a while depending on how long I can do this thing. Make yourselves at home, help yourself to whatever is in the fridge, just whatever you do, don't break anything, or go on my computer, and stay off the internet got it?" Joey asked "Why do we have to stay off the internet?" "Because I said so! Anymore questions guys?" A.G. asked. Nobody said anything else. "Good. I'm going to sleep now. If you need anything tell me in the morning." And with that, everything fell silent.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Next chapter, yay! So I was told I wasn't allowed to post this type of thing on this website. All I have to say is, I understand this is against your rules, but it would be unfair not to include questions left in reviews. I'm just starting out here so I can't be very strict when it comes to which questions I'll answer. Anyway, thanks to those people with actual questions and dares for sending them in.

Narwahlpuppy: thanks. Enjoy!

It was a bright sunny day. In fact it was so bright, it woke up A.G. and she had to put an extra set of curtains on her window it was so damn bright. Just when she thought she could fall back asleep, she heard her door open, a loud blast, and someone yell "Fuck!". She looked at the door and saw Clamps trying to dodge the many weapons flying at him at once barely getting hit by one. "Why the fuck are there so many damn things trying to kill me?" He asked. "That's my security system. I built it myself." A.G. said. "There's some on the windows, closet, in the floor, under the bed-" Clamps cut her off "Why under your bed?" He smirked "Are you afraid of monsters hiding under your bed or something?" A.G. snapped "No! There's just a lot of incidents with criminals hiding under people's beds and doing stuff to them! Nothing to do with monsters!" Clamps just said, "Sure. Whatever you say."

The two walked into the living room where everyone else was and A.G. said "Okay guys, we have some questions to answer and some dares to do that will probably be humiliating and possibly kill you in the process. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Most robots groaned, others (Bender and Clamps) rolled their eyes and sarcastically said "Yeah, lots of fun." A.G. ignored them and said cheerfully "Great! Let's get started." She pulled out a piece of paper and read: From xloolx,

Tinny Tim- If you weren't physically handicapped, where do you think you'd be in life?

Robot Devil- Is watching robots get tortured practically everyday as fun as it sounds? 'Cause it sounds really fun.

Tinny Tim said "Well, I would probably be in the same place I am now. I'm only programmed to sell Oil-ade and write in cute backwards letters."

A.G. said "I'm sure there's something else you could do. Anyway next question." Robot Devil said "Sometimes, when I have nothing better to do. But I have a question for you. Why would you want to see a robot get tortured? I understand wanting to see your enemies get tortured, but why a bunch of robots?" He looked at A.G. for answers but all she had to say was "I don't know. I just don't know."

"Well, Bender how do you reply to this,

"Also, this isn't a question or a dare, but Bender's antenna is pretty inadequate in terms of size. Just wanted the satisfaction of saying that. I mean, my middle finger is probably longer than that thing." Every robot except Bender then yelled "Ooooooooh" Bender shouted "What! No it isn't! Whoever you are I'll find you and when I do I'll-" "Bender stop! It's okay to have a small antenna, just don't try and kill people because they tell you the truth." A.G. said while laughing her childish ass off. "You suck." Bender said and walked off mumbling angrily.

A.G. then pulled out another piece of paper and read "From: D

robot devil- i dare you to shove your pitchfork up the butt of any person of your choice.

Robot Devil pulled out his pitchfork, walked over to Roberto and stuck the pitchfork up his ass. "What the hell!" Roberto exclaimed. "That was for stabbing me repeatedly in the arm last night!" Robot Devil said angrily.

calculon- what is the creepiest, most stalker-y thing bender has done to you so far?

Calculon said "Sneaking into my room at night and stealing oil samples." Bender added "I sold some of those samples on the internet too."

roberto- is there anything or anyone you wouldn't stab?

"Nope. I would stab anything that provokes me."

-also, i dare you to stab a random person in the face. "Gladly." He said and walked over to the Robot Devil. He then turned him around and yelled "This is for shoving a pitchfork up my ass a few minutes ago!" and stabbed him in the face. Robot Devil yelped and argued "Hey I had a good reason to! You stabbed me first."

bender- what does fry smell like?

"Like every other human." Bender said.

\- how many things/people have you sexed up in all of the time you've existed?

"Too many to count. Next question"

-i dare you to inappropriately touch fanny in front of her husband and try not to get killed in the process.

"Sure thing. Hey Fanny come over here." He said slyly. The Donbot shot him a death glare, and Fanny walked over to him and said "Yes?" Bender reached over and slapped her ass. As soon as he did, Fanny let out an "oh!", and the Donbot pulled out a handheld laser cannon from God-knows-where, and shot him with it, causing his entire body to explode. Everyone else looked at him. "They never said I couldn't kill him, they said he had to try not to get killed in the process." Donbot said. A.G. put Bender's ashes into a cloning machine, where he was brought back to life. "I'm back baby!" He shouted. Most people ignored him, and A.G. said "Last question."

-i dare you to have some sort of "physical" encounter with a refridgerator. doesn't necessarily have to be graphic, but must be intimate. :)

"Been there done that!" Bender proudly stated. Everyone else looked at him and said "What?". "Yeah, her name was Neva, and she was good too." He said. "Why am I surprised" A.G. said. "Well that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed and bye!"


End file.
